i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
