I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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