My nipple is on Facebook.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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