VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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