these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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