drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
