so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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