After last night, I could never be a politician.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
