How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
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I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
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It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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