windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
