I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize