i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
