Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Someone shattered a urinal.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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