he puts the penis in happiness.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We left the knife in your bed.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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