Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
