The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
