That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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