Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
