if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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