My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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