Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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