Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
