after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
