Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
this will be a night to untag.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
