I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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