I'm really into asian looking animals
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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