i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
