I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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