hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
