My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
