Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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