Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
