TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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