Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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