shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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