Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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