i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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