The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm having to shit out rocks
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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