Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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