Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize