OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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