Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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