I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
