I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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