I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
