we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You ruined the universe
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
