Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
