I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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