Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
