Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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