I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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