I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
