my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Just puked most of my soul out..
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
