Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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