i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
