There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize