WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
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I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
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It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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