This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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