we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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