It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
