I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
