Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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