While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
