what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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