Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
