i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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